#iwillgoburymyselfnow

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If only I was angry. If I was angry I could maim, I could rupture and destroy. Instead I timidly ask, as if it is even a question. Just a simple request, please leave me alone, thank you. I wished for bravery years ago. I wished and wished and never truly gained the bravery necessary to dish out what I have been served again and again. Right now I need a hand to hold. Right now I need a place to run, a hole to bury myself in. Right now I am afraid. I am nervous and scared and sad. I don't know if I can do this. I even think I might break apart. I think I might not be able to finish it....What if I am stuck like this forever? What if I wake up and I realize that I have been faking it for so long that I don't even want to see what I look like. How is this done?
If only I was angry. If only you wouldn't cry. If only I didn't love you.

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