Muse Of My Heart

Song Of The Crossroads by * orphicfiddler Beware the crossroads, mortal fair, For we are always watching there; But who, indeed, thou ask, are  we ? Hecate, not one, but three— Thrice the fury and the spite, Thrice the everlasting night That fast shall cling like specks of coal, Or like the sand upon a shoal, Unto the edges of thy soul— Thy bond to us complete. Beware the crossroads, mortal fair, For suicides are buried there, And their ghastly voices sound In the darkness all around— Listen not! lest they entice Thy fickle hand thy own throat slice, And join in their fetid ranks Beneath a cross of crooked planks— Meander not into their flanks, Pale mortal, we entreat. Beware the crossroads, mortal fair, For cold Lost-Hope is lurking there; He will catch thee in thy sleep, Betwixt the dawn and endless deep, And turn thy thoughts to bleak despair, Twist every dream beyond repair, And though we love thee, in our way, And wish thy fragile hope to stay,

Have you ever walked into your favorite joint and seen that guy you thought was just dreamy in middle school or high school? You were totally crushed by him back then and you never really thought about him until now. You are thinking, wow, he grew up nice. Then his significant other walks in and grabs his arm and in a high pitched voice says, "this place is such a ditch, baby, let's go back to that bar we went to when we met, hmm?". You and your new friends start to laugh and he looks a little nervous. You suddenly realize you had a crush on the guy with the worst taste in women. Then you are incredibly happy that he never saw you, because if he were to have crushed on you, you would have been that bad taste that is left in your mouth when his girlfriend finally leaves the room.

It's nothing I can defend. Nothing I can rationalize. Loneliness. And it's no one's fault, so I can blame only myself. Take some time on me…

It is a warming of the skin and an itching under your tongue. It is a fear of repetition and a jolting when the memory comes clear. I can hear her in my mouth and my mind  is deafened by rage. A false rage, a lack of clarity, like an angry fog. Again and again, we collide. Forgetting the pain of the latter collision. Refusing to walk away. Like man, continuing to make the same mistakes over and over. Until, we have to crash or we will burn each other up into withered husks. Our hearts will crumble into dust. I love you. I am sorry.

Blood is not thicker than water. However, it is thicker than liquor. It would seem that when it comes to growing up, the people you know the best, i.e. you're own flesh and blood, come to it latest in life. I wonder what goes through someone's mind when they feel it is okay to abandon and harm each other's hearts. And who is pat on the head and told not to worry about it, for she is far too young and immature to understand?