Why am I so angry all the time?

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I have this huge expectation for the world, an expectation that has failed so many times. So why is it still there. I don't know. I can't have it every way. I never could. Who was I kidding. I used to be the happiest person I knew. Nothing can phase me and I can survive anything. There is always worse.
So why, if I know this have I been breaking down every other day?
I could put a label on it...But non of my usual tendencies fit.
I am either a malcontent or... something is even more askew than I know how to fix.
I used to fit. I want to fit again.
Why can't I just fit where, when and how I want to? I have freedom. What more could I ask for? I have happiness. What more could I ask for? Why does it not show that I am more appreciative than ever?  I give and the world gives back. The universe always reciprocates. I try to reciprocate. I have nothing to offer

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